Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Preface

I’ve made a decision…again.

This will all be over on Sunday. Either I can start thinking about this for real, or I can start to really forget about it. Luckily, I’m halfway right now, so I won’t be too hurt.

Regardless, I’m glad it’s coming to an end. I’m tired of thinking that I’m not good enough, while everyone else is telling me I am. If there’s only one person keeping me down, I’d say it’s about time to have a resolution with them.

I’ve started too much drama, caused too many problems, and put myself in a position that I’ve never been in before. Though this is probably the time in my life that I have questioned myself the most, I’m glad it has happened.

But also glad that it’s almost over.

November will be a great month. I will either be on to the next, or laughing with the current. Though I prefer the latter, it’s out of my hands.

No doubt, the majority of you have no idea what I’m talking about, but just consider this foreshadowing for the next crazy chapter of my life. I’ve been saving it all because I didn’t want to start talking about it before I knew how it ended.

Despite what happens this weekend, it is good entertainment nonetheless. So I hope you enjoy it as I much as I have for the last month.

Besos.
n/a

Monday, October 27, 2008

You're just ordinary people...

So once again I’ve come across a situation in which I have to explain myself and how I live my life.

I’m not annoyed, don’t worry. I’ve had to answer these questions for about as long as I can remember.

No, I don’t smoke, drink, swear, or have sex. Never have (and for some) never will. BUT: that does not mean that I hold you to those same standards.

Just because you live your life like the majority of the world’s population, does not mean that you cannot be my friend. In fact, you might just be able to swing a date with me…if you’re lucky. So don’t worry about it.

For the most part, I don’t have a problem with the activities themselves, just the motivation behind them. If you drink to fit in with your friends, to me that shows insecurity. If you drink to get away from life, that shows a fear of dealing with your problems. If you drink to have a good time, and can do so without hurting yourself, by all means have at it.

It just kind of hurts my feelings when people think that I want nothing to do with them because they smoke or drink or have sex or all of them…at the same time. That perception is what got me hated in high school: I came off as an elitist jerk because I never went to anyone’s parties. It wasn’t that I was better than anyone, it was just that drinking Natty Light and taking a dip around a bon fire wasn’t very enticing…

I know that I’m different. I’m reminded everyday by something or other. I can’t have a lot of things that other people get. And I get left out of a lot of stuff. But I still believe that I can live my life the way I want to and coexist with you normal people.

At least I hope so.

n/a

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Soundtrack of Your Life

So I noticed tonight, as I was driving home, that certain music brings back certain memories.

I’ve felt it before, obviously, and I think it happens to everyone, but I think it’s a phenomenon that should be talked about more often.

I think it makes sense that a song has a meaning if something meaningful happened during the playing of that song…right? But what about a song that brings back a memory that happened way before the song ever came out?

This is confusing, so I’ll use an example.

Let’s say you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend: tragic. You are overwhelmed with these feelings, but don’t have any sort of music to turn on to make you feel better. Basically, the only music you have is from the relationship…which isn’t helpful, because that just brings back memories of a time you’d like to forget.

So you go through this phase where you have these feelings inside you, but nothing musical to listen to that will release it and make you feel better. Until one day, while browsing random music, you hear a song that represents EXACTLY what you went through.

It’s as if the artist was in your exact same position at one point and instead of suffering with nothing to listen to, created the most perfect piece of art in order to release his feelings.

This is why I love music so much. You can’t describe the things that it is capable of: the feelings you get, the thoughts it evokes, it’s just magical. Those things in life that can’t be put into words can usually be put into music. And I love that music.

It’s a good feeling to have. Not only that there is music to comfort you, but also that you know that you are not the only one that has been through what you’ve been through. Eventually you find out that no matter what happens to you in life, someone else has been through it. And trust me, for the kind of crazy stuff I get myself into, it surprises me every time I hear a song that describes me perfectly.

If you’ve ever read a survey I’ve done on Myspace, or anywhere else, whenever the question is asked, “When was the last time you cried?” my answer has always been when I watched the movie, Click.

Well …I have a different answer now.
Don’t judge.

n/a

Thursday, October 23, 2008

"I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing"

The best thing about politics is that they work on different levels of commitment from voters.


If a voter is paying attention, the politics have to be keen and sly in order to be effective.


However, if you don't pay attention to the news, or keep your mind on alert, you can be suspect to some pretty easy politics.


Take this Myspace bulletin post I saw, for example:

From Sunday's Televised "Meet the Press" Senator Obama was asked
about his stance on the American Flag.


Obama Explains National Anthem Stance Sun, 07 Sept. 2008 11:48:04 EST, General Bill Ginn' USAF (ret.) asked Obama to explain why he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.


Senator Obama Live on Sunday states, 'There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like To Teach the World T o Sing.' If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.


"We should consider to reinvent our National Anthem as well as to redesign our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love.


It's my intention, if elected, to disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren. We as a Nation have placed upon t he nations of Islam an unfair injustice.


My wife disrespects the Flag for many personal reasons. Together she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past, many years ago. She has her views and I have mine". Of course now, I have found myself about to become the President of the United States and I have put aside my hatred. I will use my power to bring CHANGE to this Nation, and offer the people a new path of hope. My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country's First Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America .


-Now, if you don't find this an absolute ridiculous attempt at comedy, please do the country a favor, and DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOME ON NOV 4.


The thing that is keeping McCain within shouting range of Obama in this race is the circulation of these rumors, and others like how he was "sworn in on the Koran" or that he is a "radical Muslim." And what's worse is that some ignorant people out there actually believe it.


If you really want to develop an opinion on someone, you should do more research than believing something posted on Myspace or Wikipedia...or Fox News, for that matter.


But don't just take my word for it...

n/a

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Whoa

So, I guess I underestimated how many people were still following this. All I did was link it on Twitter, but for some reason the people that are talking to me about my last post don't even know what Twitter is...

So I guess I should explain myself and the situation from the previous post.

Now everyone knows that I live a pretty conservative life. I don't take a lot of risks, or give in to "social norms" or anything like that. But for some reason, I was interviewing a girl for a blog...and something clicked.

I didn't know what to do, really...nothing's ever really clicked before. It was just refreshing to meet someone, completely random really, that was able to "get me" right off the bat...and enjoy it.

That's probably what got me in trouble: my excitement that I finally found someone that liked me for me. I don't have to fake anything, I don't have to try really hard to make her smile, I don't have to struggle to think of something to say. Everything is easy.

Now because I've never run into that before, my instinct is to...well...make her my girlfriend, duh. And that, of course, is where it all hits the fan and makes me a bad person.

For the record, I do not advocate any level of cheating: emotional or physical. It's not fair to anyone involved and is just an overall crappy thing to do. And that's to say that that's what happened in this situation.

I made a really good friend, whom I like a lot. And, like any good friendship, she likes me too. But, since I'm a stupid boy, I sort of ruined it by suggesting another level. And now I'm at a point of no return.

I put my neck on the block, and now it's up to her to drop the axe or save my life.

Do I feel bad? Yes and no.

I don't feel bad for meeting this girl and falling for her, because those are feelings that no one has control over, and shouldn't be apologized for.

I do feel HORRIBLE for this other guy. I'm sure his feelings for her are as significant, or they wouldn't be together. And I really showed no respect for him by talking to this girl in my mindset. That's shady and completely out of character for me.

So really, I'm just sorry: apologetically and in the lame sense too. I tried to hotwire this guy's Porsche and the only experience I have is from the movies.

We'll see how this goes...and how many cops will become involved.

n/a

Monday, October 20, 2008

Where did I go?

So...it's been about a month.

Actually, probably a little more than that.

To be honest, I really haven't had time for anything for the last 4-5 weeks, including homework and sleep. (Two of my favorite things)

But sometimes things in life come at you out of no where and you're forced, willfully, to prioritize them over EVERYTHING.

This is especially true when dealing with Latinas....yeah.

So I'd say that "I'm back," but honestly I haven't been going through with anything I've been telling myself lately, so in reality I will probably be staying up until all hours of the morning with a girl that absolutely blows my mind, watching George Lopez.

To be honest, I really haven't been this happy in a long time. So, despite the critics, I'm willing to give love a chance on this one.

Maybe it's a phase, or maybe I'm coming to my senses, but I've decided I am going to follow my heart instead of following the rules. As selfish as that sounds, it's the most refreshing thing I've done since I shaved my head in high school.

Now I understand that some of you are hurt by this decision, but I want you to know that I still love you all and I'm not meaning to offend you by not taking your advice.

This is something I want to do. And when this big head is pointed in a certain direction, it's hard to turn it around. So...blame my mother for keeping me in the incubator too long.

Anyway, if you haven't met this girl yet, you should. You will most definitely think she is amazing, as do I. I mean, if she can get along with my brother, I'm pretty sure she may have a future in special education...

n/a