I have a feeling that soul mates exist. Though I’m not convinced that there is “only one;” rather, I think that there are qualities in people that match exactly with what you are looking for. Whether they line up with you perfectly, or provide just enough friction to keep things interesting, we all look for certain things in a soul mate.
So here is the question. If you have a person picked out as your soul mate, but they don’t consider you THEIR soul mate, does that disqualify them from being the perfect match?
For example: you know this person inside and out, and love everything about them. You are refreshed by the amount of things you have in common, and find it effortless to talk to each other. Whenever you think of them, you begin to smile, and every time you talk to them you get butterflies in your stomach. Yeah…it’s that bad.
BUT
They don’t feel the same about you. (Again, I don’t know how many times I’ve talked about unrequited feelings)
What do you do? Do you hold out in hoping that this one thing changes and you can finally begin your lives together? Or do you move on to find the next person that fits your bill?
Either route is going to come with some amount of pain. I mean, come on, if you are denied by your soul mate, can it get much worse? But I wouldn’t take it as a complete fail. Think of the things that you have gained from that experience.
Instead of measuring your next date by previous relationships, you can stack them up against this soul mate. You can see how well they compare to the guy/girl of your dreams.
Even better, you finally have some peace of mind that the person you had envisioned in your head actually exists out in the world. You all know what I’m talking about. We’ve all thought about “the one” and how perfect it will be: but to have that embodied by an actual person gives you a confidence boost that there is hope for you yet.
As to whether it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all…I think that’s a dumb question. A life without love is a wasted life. Falling for someone and having it shoved in your face sucks, yes. But it makes that final connection you make even better when everything clicks, and you really have found the one for you.
Apparently I’ve hit a nerve with some of you. I appreciate the requests. Keep them coming.
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Places to go...
3 comments:
Hey Neely, its funn that you sent me to your site because if I can recall I had just asked you a question similar to your blog....Thank you very much, your blog has baan somewhat of an inspiration to me as well as to many others.
Danielle
I believe in soulmates..
Relationships are soo complicated..The female and male psyche are very different. When I first met doug, before we were courting..I knew there was some connection there..I didn't think he was "the one" because there were times I couldn't stand the things that would come out of his mouth. It is Doug Downer afterall. I had no real expectations with him. We were best friends and I could communicate with him like I could with my best female friends. One day it hit me, for all I know it was like cupid shot me with the love arrow, he was "the soulmate". sometimes I'm shocked still, but our connection is quite deep. We can look at each other and instantly know what the other is thinking..it's scary..Love is scary. Does that mean Doug is scary? Loving Doug definitely was scary. We risked our friendship. We knew that if we dated and if later we broke up it would be the end of a friendship..we both decided to take the risk.. and the risk was worth it. =)
I also believe in soul mates and yes, it would be hard to have the other not feel the same way about you. But, I can guarantee it feels worse to love someone and think you will be with them forever and then have it all screwed up because of too much alcohol and a horny mindset.
I was in a relationship with someone I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. I know I am young and I have so much life ahead of me, but this person made me the happiest girl alive. We could talk for hours or we could just sit there without the TV on or music playing, and we would have the most fun I've had in a long time. We would fight of course; I don't know of any couple that doesn't fight. But I thought we were meant to be.
But we both screwed up. I did it first, twice. Freshman year, he was away at another college and I got drunk and made out with two different guys. This summer, I was out of town and he got drunk and made out with a girl.
We both wish we could take the other back, but we know it just wouldn't work out. Something about our relationship is obviously wrong or we wouldn't be making mistakes like this right? We've both cried and talked a lot about this, but we don't exactly know how to carry on. Four years of loving the other person and doing and sharing things with them you've never done before makes it hard to move on. We don't even really want to move on.
But we have to...if it's meant to be, it will happen in the end. It's sad and the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but if I'm not happy, it's not the end.
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